Spring Break is for Relaxing...Don't Judge

Today, I went to get my hooves tended.  

It's 61 degrees.  The bluebonnets are starting to bloom.   Yellow Box flip-flops are on sale.   It's time for a pedicure!

Some of you may recall what happened the last time I got a pedicure.  If you haven't read it, you can click here to catch up.    Against my better judgement, I decided to go to the same place.  

As I was waiting for one of the chairs to open to up, I visited with a couple of former students, one of whom reads the blog (Hi, Taylor!). She told me how funny I was and that she liked the blog and was waiting for the movie about my life.  (Hear that Hollywood!  People like me.  Get your asses in gear on this!)

Little did I know, I was about to have a blog post happen to me.

I got called back to a chair and settled down with a little Adam Levine crooning in my ear.   I cranked up the vibration and massage in the chair and prepared for a good afternoon of relaxing.  I decided to splurge for the Deluxe Pedicure since it has been over a year since my last one.  That poor woman was *definitely* going to earn her money today.

My feet soaked in the that snowcone-blue bubbly water, and I began to relax.  She rubbed my calves down with sea salt scrub. My eyes closed.   Then she busted out with some organic seaweed mask and hot towels.   I felt myself sinking deeper into that space where you just melt and you're nothing but sensation.   Then she rubbed  warm oil all over my legs and gave me a 20 minute leg and foot massage, and that's when it happened.

 I dozed.

But I didn't realize it.

I could still hear Adam telling me to give him one more night. Oh I will.  I could hear Dr Oz on the salon TV talking about how to properly check your husband's testicles. Good to know.  I could hear the chatter of the all the nail techs.  I didn't think I was asleep. Yeah, there were some weird floaty thoughts going on, but I knew I wasn't asleep.  Just relaxed.

At least, that's what I thought until the sound of my own moan scared me and woke me up.  

That's right.  She was massaging my legs and feet, and I fell asleep in a full salon, only to wake up moaning.

My eyes jerked open and my sweet little attendant just smiled and said, "You feet feel good?"

The other Vietnamese lady working at the chair beside me was smiling at me as well.    And then they spoke to each other.  

I didn't have to know Vietnamese to know they were talking about me.  

I just smiled, turned up some Maroon 5, and went back to sleep.