Tomorrow is 50s Day for our middle school pep rally.
I'll be sporting a Lucille Ball-style dress complete with petticoat, red lipstick, heels, horn rim glasses, and pearls.
I remember back when I was in school...we would throw our hair up in ponytails, roll our jeans, and slap on some Keds, our daddies' white oxford and class ring, maybe a familial letter jacket, and a chiffon scarf tied around our necks. We were style icons. Those who were really committed boasted a felt poodle skirt and saddle shoes.
The past few years of teaching, I've noticed that kids are no longer understanding what the 50s uniform is.
This is a conversation from my classroom today. I wish I could say they were trying to fool me, but unfortunately, I repeated bits of this conversation all day long, as did other teachers. Read with caution...you'll age thirty years over its span:
Student A, excitedly: I can't wait for 50s day tomorrow. I'm dressing like that TV show "My Name is Earl."
Me: What? That's not 50s! Think "Happy Days," "Laverne and Shirley"....
Student A: It is, too, 50s! Flannels and mullets are from the 50s! Have you ever even seen that show?
Me: Yes, I've seen every episode. I love it, but it is definitely *NOT* set in the 50s.
Student B, confidently: Um, nope, you're wrong. Hippies are the 50s.
Me: Um, nope *you're* wrong. Hippies are the 60s. Woodstock, fringe, flowers, tie dye, Volkswagens, peace.....
Student A: No they're not. You're wrong. "My Name is Earl" is based on Woodstock which is the 50s!
Me, shaking my head: You don't even know what Woodstock was, do you?
Student A, adamantly: Yes, I do. It was drugs and flannel and mullets and music.
Me: Two out of four..... Mullets are the 80s and redneck, definitely not 60s...
Student C, interrupting and absolutely outraged: Hey, my dad had a mullet! Are you calling him a redneck?
Me: Uh....
Student D: My dad had one, too!
Student E: Mine too!
Student F: So did mine!
Me, trying desperately to recover: So how many of your fathers had mullets?
*about 9 hands go up*
Me: um......So Billy Ray Cyrus had a mullet in the late 80s..... Ever heard of "Achy Breaky Heart?"
Student A: He's a poser. He took it from the 50s.
*Students D, E, F, C, G, H, J, K, and M nod their heads and murmur their agreement about his posing as a redneck and not truly being one*
Me: Mullets are the 80s. You say your parents had mullets. Are your parents old enough to live in the 50s? Do the math! They'd be in their 60s!
Student A, doggedly pursuing the flannel issue: But flannels and long hair are 50s!
Me: Nope. That's the 90s.... Nirvana, Soundgarden... The Grunge movement from Seattle grew the flannel movement in the 90s.
Student A, absolutely bewildered: Who the heck is Nirvana?
Me: You did not just ask that!
Student N: I think they play them on the oldies station.
Student A: Yeah, 'cause they're FROM THE 50s!!!!
Me: NO!!!
Student R: So what do we wear for the 50s?
Me, relieved: Poodle skirts...
Student S: WHAT?!?!?!? They wore skirts made from poodle skin???
Me, horrified and rising in volume with each word: Oh. MY. LA. NO!!!!! It's a felt skirt with a poodle on it.
Student N: Well, that's just stupid.
Student O *nodding*: Yep. Pretty stupid.
Me: It was actually very cute and feminine.
Student P: Still sounds stupid.... so a skirt with a dog on it for the girls. What about the boys? A shirt with a cat?
Me: Funny, but no...... the boys wore blue jeans, rolled up. Converse. White tshirt. Hair greased back.
Student P: So basically, they just wore the same thing that they wore in the 70s.
Me: You guys are kidding me, right? You know this stuff. You cannot possibly NOT know this stuff.
Student Q: When did everyone have Afros?
Me, tiredly: That would be the 70s, but not everyone had Afros.
Student Q: I think you're wrong. I've seen pictures.
Me: Well, a lot of people did. Some black people had them, and some white people got perms.....
Student R *interrupting*: I think that's racist.
Me: Well, I think we are through with this conversation. Ever seen "Grease"? Dress like that.
Student B: But it's not 60s day....
Me: No it's not..... It's 50s Day and that's 50s clothing. It's set in the 50s. "I Love Lucy," set in the 50s. "Happy Days," set in the 50s. Laverne and Shirley, set in the 50s. If you've seen those, dress like them. Otherwise wear flannel, grow your hair long, wear an Afro, whatever......
And that's how today became one of those Unhappy Days........
