Oldmanass-itis

NOT Big Daddy.  My Big Daddy is way hotter, younger,
 and doesn't wear tighty whiteys, but the premise is similar.
And the ass is the same.  Kinda.   

Back in the day, I loved Big Daddy's booty.  Lately it has slid off his body, like California off the West Coast during The Big One.  

I'm not sure where it went, I guess it slowly eroded away.   His back now just goes straight down to his knees.

From the rear, he looks like one of the old men at the Feed Store in a pair of Wranglers they've had since Carter was President.   Or like he has a full, dirty diaper.

Whatever.

There's no butt there; it's just wrinkled, empty material.

The other day, he remarked on the fact that his pants are all suddenly too long.   He wondered aloud what had happened. Maybe he'd lost weight.

"Nope.  Oldmanass-itis,"  I replied, sagely.

"What?"  he asked.

"Oldmanass-itis.  You know like Hank Hill or  those old men whose asses have disappeared and their ears have started sprouting ear hair.  They speak slowly and just stand around in a loose circle talking about nothing for hours, hitching up their pants every now and again, even though they're wearing belts.  You know the ones.  Hey, speaking of that. Do I need to pluck your ear hair again?"

"I have never looked at an old man's butt before."

"Well, the next time we go to Golden Corral or Cracker Barrel, check out all the old men's butts, and then look in the mirror.  It's the same.   Oldmanass-itis."

"Let me get this straight.  You want me to look at guys' butts?"

"Yep."

"I'm gonna make THAT my facebook status."






****A response to the numerous people who emailed me directly, and one lovely TROLL who emailed  *HATE* specifically to me and my boobs.....  I would like to say I have mentioned  several times on my blog that time is taking/ has taken a toll on  has destroyed my lovely physique, as well.   I took on my own body issues in several blog posts, here, here, and here, not to mention also here and definitely here  (because everyone wants to read about my colon issues or the time I farted!) but I mentioned my boobs specifically in this one.  Perhaps you are new, and didn't realize that I'm constantly making fun of myself.   So, to the *awesome* hater who said Big Daddy would leave me for making fun of him... first, know that I publish everything AFTER he has read it and said it's okay to put on the internets AND just in case you are still here and reading, I want you to know I also wrote a  lovely little ditty about a tick in his  ASS here (I know how much that word bothered you since you capitalized it 13 times  in your email...be careful though, it's called ASStick..).  To the comment you made that I was emasculating him by my post,  obviously by the number of posts making fun of myself, I  emasculated myself first.  

Wait... That didn't come out right.  ;)