Walmart Greeter Kind of a Day

I've been teaching for 16 years, and I've taught every grade from 6th grade to seniors.    Since the time I was little, this was my chosen profession.  Lining up all my stuffed animals and "teaching" them is one of my earliest memories.  As is beating them with a ruler when they misbehaved.

This is what I've always wanted to do.   The teaching part.  Not the beating part.

Except on days when it's not what I want to do anymore.    Those are the days when I want to be a dental assistant, so I can "accidentally"  stab someone with that little pick-like needle thing when I'm scraping their teeth, and say, "Oops! I'm sorry.  Little bit of plaque there.  You should floss more."  

There are also the days when I wish I could be a greeter at Walmart.  


Really?  How stressful could that be?
"Hello, Welcome to Wal-mart.  What can I do for you?"
"Oops, let me put a sticker on that for you."
"The bathroom is that way."

I could *so* do that job.  

Sometimes, I want to get out of education when there's just too much on my plate.... meetings, expectations, politics, parents, misbehaving kids.  Notice none of it has to do with the actual TEACHING of students.  Sometimes it's when I get the distinct impression that I'm not making an impression on my kiddos.    Other times, it's just when I feel like I am never going to make a difference and should give up, that the educational "machine" is too big, and doesn't know what's best for my kids, but won't let me do what I do best, teach.  

Then there are days like this.... I've seen these kind of entries in magazines, and my kids will give a zinger now and then, but in all my years of teaching I've never had this many in one day.

The assignment was to read a biography and create a posterboard which highlighted that person's life and major achievements.   A five minute presentation would be given to the class.   These are actual written and spoken words from my kiddos' presentations.

• "Michael Jordan is a dude who's just  famous for making shoes."
• "Elvis Presley was in like 30 movies on DVD."
• "Harry Houdini was a guy who liked locks."
• "The only reason Fredrick Douglas is famous is his mom was raped.  There isn't much else written about him."
• "Susan Boyle is like, really old.  She's 40 or 50 or something, but she's not dead yet."
• "Brian Bosworth was just famous for his hair.  That's it."

  

  Shame on you, Johnny Appleseed.  

• "Lance Armstrong likes to ride bikes."                        

  and my all time personal favorite.....


"Johnny Appleseed can be summed up like this...He was a guy who walked around almost naked with a pot on his head and sprinkled his seed all over the country."