Expect the Unexpected.... An Unexpected Post after an Unexpected "Visit"

I am not linking this post to my Facebook, because frankly, I'm too embarrassed.

Today, I had an appointment with my obgyn.   Not the annual one all women put off.    Just a good old-fashioned consult.

At least, that's what I thought.  

I thought he would chastise me for putting off my follow-up appointment a YEAR ago when my ovary decided to explode and bleed internally for days in a full-on attempt to kill me.   I thought I'd smile and tell him that after the first follow up when he told me it WAS my ovary and not cancer that I figured the second follow-up appointment wasn't really that important.  I knew he would shake his head and tell me to take better care of myself.  I would nod and tell him I know I should, but....   Then, he would fuss more.  I would bat my eyelashes at him, and explain my current problem with the same bastard of an ovary.  And then he would  CONSULT.

That's what I thought I was there for.... a CONSULT.

Until I was told to strip down and wear the paper gown of shame.  

I hadn't prepped.  I hadn't preened.  If I'd known I was having visitors, I would have picked up the house.

Not only was there a surprise visit, but surprise fingers, surprise lube, surprise medieval torture devices, and surprise sonograms (notice the s!).

Surprise. Surprise. Surprise.

I hate surprises.

To top it all off, there was also a surprise obgyn med student to witness my shame.

Hello, bright and shiny intern-like obgyn student.  

This is what motherhood looks like.   It ain't like the book.