Jump Around

I almost scared my mother-in-law to death.  

Seriously.

You see, I have several happy songs.   A happy song is a song that I know, no matter what is going on, if I hear it, I’m going to smile.    These aren’t necessarily my favorite songs, just songs that make my heart happy and my face light up.  They’re not highbrow, inspirational, or really all that awesome.  They just make me smile… and don’t we all need that, sometimes?

For example, I love Cher’s “Believe.”  Why?  I don’t know.  Yes, she’s over the top.  Yes, my students always think she’s a man when they first hear this song. Yes, she’s older than the hills, but  I’ve always loved it.   Loved it so much than when I heard it on a ferry in the middle of Cozumel, I was forced to bust out  and sing along with the chorus and do some of my patented, slick impromptu dance moves.     I was amazing enough that there was a smattering of applause and a few less frowns for us making the whole boat late.  Can’t beat that.  

I also love the song “Popular” from the play WICKED.    It's the song Glinda the Good Witch sings to the woman who will later become the Wicked Witch of the West in the Wizard of Oz.   You have not lived until you have heard that song sung by a classroom full of seventh grade boys who know every word.  I also love when I’m walking down the hallway in between classes, and I hear someone belt out the chorus, “La…la…la… la.. We’re gonna make you pop-u-lar”  and several other kids join in.  It’s like my own little personal episode of Glee.   Definitely brings a smile to the face.

Seriously, click on the link.   Just imagine all those adolescent boys singing at the top of their lungs, “ I’ll teach you the proper poise when you talk to boys, little ways to flirt and flounce.  Oh! I’ll show you what shoes to wear, how to fix your hair. Everything that really counts to be popular.”  Cracks me up.   Who would guess that seventh grade kids love showtunes?

My absolute favorite happy song of all time, though,  is “Jump Around” by House of Pain.   Whenever I hear that the horn at the beginning right before the crazy scream begins, my face just splits into a smile. Once the beat starts up, I just can’t keep from looking like a bobblehead and moving to the beat. Good times are sure to follow.

One day it all got me in trouble.

I was at home by myself.  No hubby.  No kid.  No pets.  Just me and the radio.

Oh.  Yeah.  

I decided I was going to make homemade pizza for the family. I found a digital station on cable that played all 90s music and set to work.  I was in the middle of stirring an absolute fantastic pizza sauce, when I heard that first note.  I ran to the tv, cranked it up loud enough that we might need to buy new speakers, and went back to the kitchen to dance cook.  

Now I know all the words, but my favorite part of the song is that scream.   Suddenly, I overtaken by the compulsion to dance, so I closed my eyes and screamed along, moving to the music.  I was having a blast.

I don't know how long I was in my happy place, but I suddenly felt a presence.    I spun around and opened my eyes.   There stood my mother-in-law with a hand to her heart, her mouth agape, face pale, and eyes wide.   She looked like she had just seen an epileptic monkey screeching its lungs out as it flew through the jungle canopy.

She kinda did. 

APPARENTLY, she had come by to see us.   She heard loud music when she pulled up and thought it odd, since we are usually such sedate, boring people.   As she walked up the sidewalk, she began to hear screams.  Her heart began to race as all kinds of crazy scenarios involving blood, murder, weapons, and mayhem ran through her mind.   She rang the doorbell several times, but got no answer and really began to worry, so she used her key.  Once inside, she heard a commotion  in the kitchen and followed the noise.   She said that when she got to the kitchen, she was afraid to touch me because I was dancing so wildly.

I was so embarrassed as I asked her what she needed, but she couldn't remember.  My awesome voice and amazing dance floor presence had wiped her mind clean.

 I often have that effect on people.  

She said her chest felt a little tight, so she sat in a chair while she worked to get her blood pressure back under control.   After several minutes she felt steady enough to drive, and she just got up and walked out.

We've never spoken of that day. I wonder sometimes what I must have looked like to her.   If you want to know the truth, I think she didn't touch me because she was worried that she might draw back a nub.

 I am a beast on the dance floor you know.